Hmm, I just finished up a review of Galoob’s excellent Game Genie for the Genesis (look for it on Sega-16 tomorrow), and it got me thinking about “game enhancers” in general. Long the butt of jokes and criticism, they have nevertheless managed to sustain themselves and even evolve, right alongside the industry. Since 1990, we’ve gone from Game Genie to Game Shark to Pro Action Replay, and I estimate that it’s only a matter of time before we see them appear on store shelves for the Xbox 360 and its next gen brethren. Despite all the negative vibes heaped upon them, their longevity signifies one single, undeniable fact:

People like to cheat.

Sure, I guess those that do aren’t considered “hardcore” and badass and such nonsense. I ask you though: who really cares? At this stage of the game, does it really matter if I had to beat Chronicles of Riddick using a cheat code or game enhancer? Are the hardcore police going to beat down my door and taser my ass until I admit guilt and beg for mercy? Honestly folks, what’s the big deal?

I guess it was once a matter of pride, back when I was in high school and it was of the utmost importance to be the first to beat a particular title. Such was the insanity that made me play through Super Hydlide on the Genesis and Drakken on the SNES. It was always a contest to find harder and longer games to beat them a pulso, as we say in Spanish, which can best be translated as “cold turkey.” Yep, back then it was something you took seriously and carried around like a medal. See him? He’s the guy that 1-credited Double Dragon 2!

Nowadays, it’s a different story. I simply haven’t the time nor the inclination to suffer through Chakan. What’s that Galoob? You have an invincibility code for me? I’ll take it, along with a side of infinite potions! As time passes and my old school skills fade like sand sculptures at high tide, it becomes less and less important how I beat a game. These days, I just want to beat it, period. For that reason, I have a slew of cheat devices and use them all. That’s right, I admit it. Am I a scrub? Maybe. Am I less hardcore than those who don’t use them? Probably. One thing’s for sure, I’ll still have all my hair when I hit forty, and my kids won’t learn so many obscenities (at least not from me).

Happy Memorial Day, everyone. I spent my morning at a Veterans cemetery (it was work related, but I probably would have gone anyway). Thinking of eating some leftover barbecue and going over later to help the Marines yank the flags (cemetery won’t let them stay more than the weekend). Then I’m comandeering my PS2 and playing some Katamari Demacy and FFX-2.

How’s everyone else’s weekend going?

Small rant - I’m a smoker. That’s not a huge deal in Nevada, cuz EVERYONE smokes here. We have casinos that practically encourage it. But there are two places I won’t leave my cigarette butts at - schools and cemeteries. So when the hell did common decency go out the window? Because I actually saw people ashing on graves and flicking butts out into the Veterans Cemetery. I’m sorry, that’s messed up.

EDIT - Hey, I remembered that I need to file this under my name! Go me!

It’s true. It’s SO true.

Read all about it here.

Wow, that was some mondo cheese. I feel violated.

And that surprise ending still didn’t save it from being total cheddah.

I hated it.

I’m disturbingly masochistic. I’ve been drinking wine and playing the Mega Man X Collection all night. For the uninformed, this is tantamount to front-flipping through glass with an ass-full of molotov cocktails.

I’m on the last boss of Mega Man X right now, which is the easiest title of the six on this disc. Fuck Sigma and his mutt. I reset it so I could come back to it later because it saves before each segment of his base, but I didn’t realize until I loaded it back up again that it makes you start at the beginning of the four stages once you’ve quit.

On the bright side, I completely forgot how awesome some of the boss names are. I’m convinced now that the best name for a band you could ever come up with is Boomer Kuwanger.