I don't really care about all these hoops you seem intent on making me jump through.

Yay, the R-Type Command demo is up on the Sony store!  This makes me happy, because I've been looking forward to playing it for a while now.  So off I go to power up the PS3 and get downloading.

First off, though, it's time for a required update before I can access the Sony store.  Rolling my eyes at yet another one of these endless time-wasters, I start it up and do something else for ten minutes.  Once that's out of the way it's theoretically time for some R-Type Command.  A quick download and it's on the PS3's hard drive, and a bit of transferring over to the PSP and I'm almost good to go.

The last game I got for the PSP was Patapon, back in early March the week after it came out.  Apparently in the intervening three weeks a new update hit the PSP and now I need to take care of that.  So I set up my PSP with my home network (should have done it earlier, that one's my fault for being lazy) and get to downloading firmware upgrade 3.93.  Once that's done I plug my PSP into my PC's USB cable for a shot of power to make the update run smooth and am promptly told that's just not good enough.  The battery is "low" at 2/3 power and the juice from the USB AC hookup just isn't cutting it.  I drag my PSP into the other room where I've got the AC adaptor plugged into the wall and, finally, decide I've had enough of this.  The PSP goes back into its case and I go do something else.

This is how this story should have gone-  The R-Type Command demo was up on the Sony store and I downloaded it.  One quick transfer to the PSP later and I was playing the game.   That didn't happen, and now I just don't feel like dealing with this silly crap. 

Seriously, Sony, all I wanted to do was play a game. 

Enter before your planet is obliterated.

Hear me humans! It is I… Crrrrrypto the Magnificent. (Ahem… well, at least back on my home planet that is). *ahem* It's come to my attention that the leader of this editorial establishment has planned a special ceremony in my honor.

I was hoping for the destruction of your puny world; a few vaporized here and there… nothing too major. *sigh* Alas, Bahn has settled an idea would not involve any loss of life. A contest featuring my virtual adventures in the all new Destroy All Humans! Big Willy Unleashed.

This happens to be my third video game for those of you keeping count. :p

Many will enter, but only a few fortunate souls will be victorious.

• First place winners will receive an official retail copy of the game for the Nintendo Wii.
• Second place winners will receive a T-shirt. [Click here for a peek ].
• Third place winners will receive a bobble head. [We don't have any visual references for you hu-mans. Use your imagination.]

That's nine chances to own a piece of my legacy! We've arranged the rules to be so simple. Send us your full name and a valid email address to contests@got-next.com with the subject header "Destroy All Humans: Big Willy Unleashed Giveway". Entries must be received no later than April 1, 2008, 11:59 EST. That gives you all more than enough time to stop polishing your guns and preparing for the inevitable destruction of your home planet. Good luck to all!

Official Rules:

Only one entry per household. Contest winners will receive an email indicating they've won. The selected winner MUST reply within 72 hours in order to claim their prize. In the event the selected winner(s) do not respond, GotNext will randomly select another winner. GotNext members and their family members are ineligible to enter this promotional giveaway.

It's got our vote of approval.

With all the frequent updates surrounding Street Fighter IV, you might be wondering if Capcom started to overlook a certain remixed coin-op classic was going to see the light of day. Yes, that would be SSF2T: HD Remix and contrary what some may want to believe, the project has NOT been forgotten. In fact, they've been working very hard to polish every aspect which should delight even the most diehard fan. Art direction appears to be one of the major areas that have been addressed over the past several months, something which the community have been especially vocal about with mixed feelings. Like Ryu's over-the-top 'roids look? Yeah, me either. (Too bad it's coming back HARD in SF4, but that's a discussion for another time).

Moving on, Rey Jimenez just published a spectacular update at Capcom-Unity, which offers some big highlights where the game's current progress is. For those of you've been getting restless as each month goes by, perhaps reading this new info should put your mind at ease. A good chunk of it talks about the art direction, but there's some other tidbits that's definitely going to bring a smile to your face. No, I am not kidding.

Last, but certainly not least, be sure to visit Gamespot and check out Backbone Lead Producer David Sirlin's interview on the game. There's a sweet mention on how fans can get their first taste of the game by purchasing… (no, I am not telling ya, go check out the link!) :p

Hit the ground running. Criterion's making Paradise cooler. 

Things have been so crazy lately that I've been slipping with my usual current events reporting. I just stumbled upon this news about Burnout Paradise receiving an upcoming patch for the PS3 and 360 versions, conversely delivering some much-needed tweaks to satiate diehard players. Funny thing is, among the 30 different areas being refined, I've probably only found one or two of them to be glaringly obvious. Perhaps I just wasn't paying enough attention eh? Reportedly this patch will address everything from audio peformance to some in-game gaming logistics.

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A new year, a new spiky-haired lawyer.

Having completed Capcom's newest legal adventure, I offer a few impressions for you to nibble on with your evening brandy.

It has been seven years since the events in Trials and Tribulations transpired.  Phoenix Wright has been disgraced and disbarred (for reasons that you know I can't reveal here), and he now makes a living as a fifth-rate John Tesh in a Russian dive.   Enter the titular Apollo Justice, an oh-so-pure defense attorney who's about to be touched for the very first time.  So how is it?

Well, the gameplay is practically unchanged.  There are some investigation elements that take advantage of the console's touch screen and 3D capabilities, and some nifty FMV sequences have been thrown in.  Otherwise, it's standard Ace Attorney fare:  tap through menus, follow dialogue tree, progress to next section, repeat as desired.

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