These bold estimations come courtesy of our own resident sports stats swami, Patrick George (pronounced ‘Gay-Org’) Sanders. Looks rough, but I have higher hopes than this cynical sideline-hound:

I think that Joseph Luster actually has a really vicious schedule this season (Home games in bold, w/ my predictions in parentheses):
Week One: Sleeping in (W)
Week Two: Watching cartoons (W)
Week Three: Going to Best Buy to look at DVD’s (L)
Week Four: Building toy robots (L)
Week Five: Holding hands with John Wishon (L)
Week Six: Lifting milk cartons as if they were weights (W)
Week Seven: Considering employment (L)
Week Eight: Come up with a zany comic idea (Home Coming Game) (W)
Week Nine: Polish glasses (L)
Week Ten: Wax B.B. gun (W)

I don’t think that Mr. Luster is Bowl-bound.

Update: Upon further review of Joseph Luster’s schedule I would like to rescind my previous statement. Clearly Joseph can win Week 7’s matchup against “Consideration of Employment.” This would make Mr. Luster 6-4 on the season, thus being bowl eligible. Las Vegas odds-makers are forecasting Luster to end up in the Jerry Green Bowl against “Watch Pat Make Out with Some Nasty Old Chicks, and then Vomit on Himself” out of the BDC (Baby Dick Conference). Luster is a 3-1/2 pt favorite.

The Joseph Luster Report is tweaking into a whole new era (G-funk; step to this, I dare ya). I’m taking this blog onto a whole new level (the rhythm is the bass and the bass is the treble).

Come with Joey Coco - where rhythm is life… and life is rhythm:

That’s right, it’s time for Season Three of the Joseph Luster Report. Coming up this season: Gas Baby, Slamm Dunk, East Coast Revengers, Wayne Wonder, Celebrity Interviews, and more!

Greetings, all! Sit down, sit down. Today is truly a day of merriment, for it is the day that, twenty-five years past, Joseph Luster was born!

(hurrah, hurrah)

(fanfare begins and Joseph sits down on his throne)

To celebrate this day, I decree that you shall all buy him things from his wishlist!

(hurrahs continue. A single naysayer raises his thumb against The Earl. He is vanquished with haste)

Now, disperse, and go cast your eyes upon The Earl’s latest cinematic review!

Wow. My friend Matthew Stoop’s (known as DP2000 to some random peons) blog is pretty amazing.