So I rented Rockstar Games Presents Table Tennis from the ol’ Blockbuster last night. Yeah, I was surprised that it was available too. Just a little dumb luck.

I had actually been contemplating purchasing a copy, but my recently self-imposed “I buy no games at release until hearing feedback about them from people I trust because I have been burned by garbage too many times” prevented me from doing that. Of course, that did not stop me from buying Field Commander today at the mall, but that’s only because my wife went into the Gap and left me to my own devices in the Gamestop. But I digress.

Anyway, I got home and after I put my wife to bed and popped open a cold Hoegaarden (if you don’t know, don’t ask) I cranked up Table Tennis. The training was fine, instructing me on the basics then nuances of the game. I started to get annoyed at the whole “counterspin” mechanic, since it’s based on color recongition and it’s damn tough to spot a color and match it on the controller in the split seconds between volleys.

After training, I went into an exhibition, and I really started hating everything about the game. I can’t figure out what, but I just don’t…like….anything. The graphics are nice, the sound is fine, but the gameplay is just inherently repetitive and, well, boring. I mean, it’s PING-PONG for crying out loud.

The action moves so fast that it’s really just a twitchfest…..over and over and over. To top it off, after about 45 minutes my thumb was developing a callous more painful than any gaming injury ever encountered. After an unseccessful bout in a tournament championship (by the way, the first two opponents were jokes but the gold-medal opponent immediately became an unstoppable force) I had enough and watched last week’s Big Love on Tivo.

Why do my friends like this game? Why is it getting high review scores? How can anyone play this for more than 30 minutes without going numb from boredom?

So far, my disdain for this game is intense. Maybe multiplayer with a buddy will change my surly attitude. But I doubt it.

If you’re thinking about getting this game, for God’s sake rent it first. Please.