After eleven long years, I have returned to my happy place.

[Note:  This is not an official review.  Rather, these are just my impressions after a few hours of hands-on time.  If this were an official review, the game would have been awarded an Official GotNext Seal of Absolute Supreme Awesomeness.]

Okay, so last night I get a creepy-yet-somehow-alluring phone call from Mario.  He's calling me on behalf of GameStop to let me know that my copy of Super Mario Galaxy will be available the next day.  Oh, and GameStop is a great place to trade in your used games.  Mario has become quite the corporate shill, it seems.

Anyways, I pick it up around lunchtime today.  The next few hours are brutal as I wait for my day to come to an end.  Usually, the mental image of supple breasts keeps me alert in those cumbersome afternoon hours.  Today, it's a pudgy man with a mustache.  The clock crawls along and I shake with anticipation.

Finally, I get home.  But we're not going to rush this.  Oh no, it would be very low-class of me to just tear the wrapper off and go at it like a truck stop trollop.  The gaming press has unanimously hailed this as the true sequel to Super Mario 64, and I must handle its arrival with a great sense of decorum and respect.  The plumber deserves nothing less.

I ceremoniously open the case which houses the commemorative coin.  Holding it in my hand, I think to myself, "It feels cheaper than I thought it would.  It's not very heavy at all."

Oh well, so much for that.  Time to play the game.  I boot it up, watch the opening sequence, and delve into the first few hours.  Before I make the following statement, let me assure you that I am speaking from a professional, objective standpoint.  I say this without any regard either for the hype leading up to the game or the reviews it has received on other sites.  That having been said, I'm ready to declare:

I really think this just might be the best video game ever.

Not the best Mario game.  Not the best Nintendo game.  Not the best action-platformer.

The best game.  Ever.

I know that I will be heavily criticized for that claim, and I don't care.  This game is beyond phenomenal.  It's everything you loved about Mario 64 coupled with a smart control scheme and a breathtaking orchestrated soundtrack.  In fact, I think that the music is one of my favorite aspects of the entire presentation.  This is truly Koji Kondo at his finest.

Much as I would love to delve further into every aspect of the game's greatness, I honestly would prefer to get back to playing it myself.  So I shall conclude by simply saying that Galaxy is a disc of pure, unrelenting fun.  It's fresh, it's innovative, and at the same time it makes me feel as happy as I did when I played its predecessor over a decade ago.

Mr. Miyamoto, you have passed your "smile test" with flying colors.